In this episode Jess talks with Caroline , who is a Financial Advisor, Strategist, and Speaker, and also part of the Women’s Wealth boutique. Caroline talks about how she felt like she hit a wall professionally and knew it was time to expand into something different. They discuss the importance of being able to express yourself in your profession and how at the women’s wealth boutique that is something that is nurtured and encouraged. She also discusses the importance of matching potential financial clients with the correct advisors to achieve the best results for everyone. Caroline points out how important it is to have a comfortable relationship with clients where they feel that they can communicate in an open way to get the most out of the client/advisor relationship.
- It’s so important to be able to express yourself and be yourself in your profession
- We need to teach our kids about money regarding credit card debt/ students loans , and what the consequences of debt are
- It is vital that women become more involved and engaged in their finances, we need to make sure they are being included in these financial conversations
Contact our guest:
Jessica Weaver 00:01
Hello money queens and listeners Welcome to women behind the millions. Let’s meet the women behind the millionaires a woman supporting guiding celebrating women with their wealth. You will hear from women millionaires, how they got there and what they wish they had known. What got them to be a millionaire, the emotional side, the spiritual side, the practical side of wealth. You’ll also get to meet the women behind the scenes helping make it happen. Let’s dive into women behind the millions. I am Jessica Weaver, your host best-selling author of three books wealth advisor and founder of the woman’s wealth boutique. Let’s start meeting the women. Welcome to women behind the millions. I am Jessica Weaver, your host, owner and founder of the woman’s wealth boutique, Best Selling Author, all that good stuff, but it’s not about me today. It’s about Caroline. I’m so excited to have Caroline Tanis with us today on our podcast. She is a certified divorce financial analyst, a financial advisor and strategist that specializes in helping highly ambitious women and their families build a life, their dream life. She’s an advocate for women building wealth and increasing financial literacy in future generations. She has jumped ship from Merrill Lynch and joined us here at the woman’s wealth boutique. She is the founder of Tanis Financial Group. So, thank you, Caroline, for being with us today.
Caroline Tanis 01:25
Thank you for having me, it feels so good to hear you say all this into the intro to the podcast. So, I’m excited for this to all come into the world.
Jessica Weaver 01:33
I know that you are also a fellow advisor in New Jersey. We’ve met I feel like I’ve known you for a very long time. Our world bonded together what was it, the last year? a year ago?
Caroline Tanis 01:46
You know, I was just thinking about that. The other day, I was like holy cow how much can change in a year because I think we met at the start of summer 2021. So, sitting here now at the end of summer 2022. I’m like holy cow whole, new world. And that just means there’s so many good things coming.
Jessica Weaver 02:03
That’s true. We’ve talked about this on the podcast before, but when its God just doesn’t give us one drop, when he rains blessings, he rains blessings. And it doesn’t mean that there’s not things that we need to work through. And while we’re receiving them, and it doesn’t mean that it’s all sunshine and butterflies, but it is sure how much your life can change in a year. So, tell us about that. Where were you, let’s say a year, two years from now or before?
Caroline Tanis 02:32
Yeah, so a year ago, we were still working from home. And I got to sit at my home office every day and contemplate my life of trying to like to make so many different moves and so much progress for women in not only like financial services industry, but just women in general, you know, building wealth and changing things. And I felt like I just kept hitting roadblocks, like everywhere I turned it would be like, no, you can’t do this. No, you can’t do that. Or like the hoops I would go through on the compliance side that, you know, I wanted to like host an event or even if I wanted to be on a podcast like this, it was like, no, you can’t do it. Or they would just like wear you down so much that by the time like you just reached a point where you were like, I give up.
Jessica Weaver 03:19
The roadblocks and everybody can relate to this, whether it’s in a relationship with your career at your firm, it’s this this box as an invisible line, this barrier, we all feel it, we know it’s there. Sometimes we can’t quite put a name on it. Or to have that rejection from a firm when if you win, the firm wins. But they’re just, they’re not even supporting it. And being let’s say short minded or just not understanding what the vision is, or taking the time to understand the vision and for you to not feel like you’re being seen or heard is a very hard environment to stay in.
Caroline Tanis 04:01
Yeah, and it’s also hard to grow in, you know, you just feel like you’re losing so many different pieces of you and you’re like, I’m no longer you know, I feel like I was kind of put on this mission and this journey of changing things and being a resource for women. And so then to be put in a spot where I have so many good things I want to do and right like, we always hear the phrase like nothing happens. Nothing bad happens when women make more money, and I completely agree. But then you’re in a place whereas a woman, you’re not making more money and you can’t help other women make more money. You just kind of sit there and you’re like, what am I doing?
Jessica Weaver 04:38
Banging your head against the wall. That’s what you’re doing. Getting a migraine day after day. And that was stifling your growth, and that seems to be a theme for our podcast, for women behind the millions, for our magazine, for the firm. We’ve all outgrown this role that we’ve played, and whether you’ve outgrown a role in a relationship or at your firm, at a job- you’ve outgrown that role. And I could see it in you when we first spoke, like I have a book in me, but they won’t let me write a book. I want to do these , I want to do PR and I mean, you’re blowing up, you’re blossoming, you’re all over the place, you’re getting media interviews, podcasts, all of it. So, you can see it was just waiting for things to align. And then once they did, it’s off to the races.
Caroline Tanis 05:27
It’s crazy how many people have commented, even people that didn’t know me too well before it, and even the people closest to me have commented, I had one friend, we went to the beach one Saturday, and he just like, stops and looks at me, and he goes, You are so much happier, and just out of nowhere, and I was like, yeah #1 thank you for sticking with me during that time. Yeah. And I was like, wow, how miserable was I that you know, I thought I was putting on like a fake facade of like, No, everything’s fine. Everything’s great. Like the practice and
Jessica Weaver 05:56
It’s fine, I’m fine. We’re all fine. yes, we say that yes.
Caroline Tanis 06:00
Right. And like he just knew and knew me so well, in a second that like, he just looked at me and was like, You’re so different. And that was only I think it was at that point three to four weeks into my leaving. And I’m like, if that’s three weeks in, I can’t imagine what a year, two years, five years, 10 years will be. So, it’s pretty exciting to kind of think about what’s on the horizon.
Jessica Weaver 06:20
Oh, the sky’s the limit. And that’s what happens when you get out of that damn box that society puts us in, our expectations put us in , family puts us in, a firm, all of that. You talk about sacrificing, and we’re taught that at a young age that we need to sacrifice to earn more money. We need to sacrifice who we are to please everybody around us to appease our spouse, our boss. But when you’re sacrificing little bits of you day after day after day, and I don’t about you, but this was me. I looked in the mirror and didn’t even recognize myself. And there’s a picture of me and I’ve used this a lot when I speak and I’m my hair is pulled back I have really no makeup on, black suit, there’s a little smile. But there’s pain behind the eyes, behind the eyes. So, for you What was that like? And looking back on it, can you recognize how much sacrifice and pain you were in being on the other side?
Caroline Tanis 07:18
I have a very similar experience to that as well. So, I loved I think you posted it on your Instagram at some point like the video it starts with you in that you know all black suit and then it’s like you glowing up I’ll call it. I had the same exact moment. Like I love to wear dresses. Like I’m very girly, we’ll call it. So, I remember going into the office one day pre pandemic, and a male advisor came up to me and I was wearing like a very, like floral dress totally work appropriate comes up and he’s like, oh, get a little break today, aren’t we? He’s like, I was like it’s like seven in the morning in Manhattan. And you’re just like, I’m trying to get through the day. And it’s like, why? Like, there was no need to comment on it. And it was like, I was so embarrassed. I still have the dress hanging in my closet and have not worn it since. Which it sounds like
Jessica Weaver 08:09
You need a photo shoot of you wearing that dress then. But I understand completely right, those comments, the passive aggressive comments that, especially in a male dominated industry that we’ve grown up in, it’s easy for that to happen. And I remember being in meetings with men saying that, and I remember one, I had a sweater on, it was a V neck sweater, everything was covered. I mean I’m pretty flat to begin with. So not much is showing anyway. Very covered. He’s like that is inappropriate. I’m like- What do you mean? My collarbone? Is that offending you?
Caroline Tanis 08:40
I feel like and it’s like where and not even just that. But like the fact that you would say it too is like mind blowing and the things that people would say to you, or I don’t know if you ever had this one. I worked with a male advisor, and we would go into meetings and people would be like, oh, are you, his assistant?
Jessica Weaver 08:55
Yes. Because 90% of the back-office support is woman. Yep. But we’re only a third of the advisors. So only a third of the advisors are women in the front. But the background is all women. So that’s an assumption, right? Of course.
Caroline Tanis 09:12
Yep. And the worst is when it would come from another woman. And at one time, I had a woman come up to me, she had said to me in the beginning of the meeting, and she came up at the end and she goes, I am sick to my stomach that I said that to you. Like I can’t believe I assumed that you were the assistant like I’m sorry. And it was like, you know when now we’re both sitting there like alright, this is just uncomfortable, but it’s like, yeah, you did make the assumption that I was, you know, in that seat, and I ended up giving you more of the value in that meeting then than he did. So, you sit there and you’re like, what am I supposed to say to that?
Jessica Weaver 09:47
Yes, yeah. Why are we fighting against each other? And times are changing, right? And that’s why we started the boutique to give women financial advisors the resources to fully grow and support so that you can then give your clients the resources that they need. And it’s all about being in the right environment. Talk to me about taking the risk, leaving what was familiar, what you started the industry and at a large, wire house firm, and then making the leap. That’s a risk. Yes, yeah that’s not something where you wake up one day and you’re like, I’m gonna do this, everything’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna just work out.
Caroline Tanis 10:25
Yeah. And it’s funny, too, because so many people said to me, they were like, when did you decide to do this? Like, have you been planning this? And I was like, this was, you know, nine months in the making. And, you know, I think it was always meant to be, it was a lot of a A pro/con list and B I think prayer, like sitting back and just saying, like, if this is meant to be, I knew that certain things would work out and line up, like, I had certain things in my mind where I was like, if these things aren’t lining up, I know, my journey at Merrill was done, right. So I sat down, I was like, these are the things that I want. These are the things I want to be doing. And it just everything was like, lies and telling me no, and my clients were getting frustrated. And I was like, you know, starting to feel things out of, you know, why is this happening. And you just saw so many advisors leaving Merrill, at that point, you’re just looking around, and I remember going back into the office after COVID. And you would just walk by so many open, you know, empty offices because of people that had left.
Jessica Weaver 11:29
Wow, that’s scary, because the times are changing, there’s a huge wave of people leaving the wire house going independent kind of like us. And having that checklist, I remember one adviser telling me and I had every excuse possible to stay my father’s firm, which his firm was great. He’s a great advisor, but I outgrew the role that was there. And I was ready to create something, to really have an impact just like you, right, you outgrew that role. And she was telling me, you know, your write down all your reasons to stay, write down all the reasons to stay. And then one day, you’re gonna look at that list and realize those are just excuses. They’re not concrete reasons. They’re excuses. And it’s so easy to have that list of reasons why it’s not a good time, I have my family to think about , things are good, why rock the boat? Or that if it’s not broken, don’t fix it mentality. And people, how many people just live in what’s familiar and comfortable, and just repeat patterns over and over again. But you at a young age, early in your career, took this leap, and I commend you for it, because now you can really build in the right environment, and it’s yours.
Caroline Tanis 12:45
And that’s I think the biggest difference to me, too, was that I knew, you know, based on the conversations that we had had, and understanding your vision for all of us advisors, and for the boutique as a whole, it was like, This is what we want to make it you know, it wasn’t just you coming over top and saying like, No, this is how you have to run things like you didn’t tell us you have to wear pink, you have to do these things. It was like you wanted us to be who we are. And I think that that’s the best way to grow too is if you let people grow in their own natural way and accept them for who they are, rather than who you want them to be. That, I think I’ve learned is the biggest differentiator for people. And so, when I was looking at my reasons to stay, they were all reasons outside of me. When I was like, oh, well, family is going to be mad at me or they’re going to have comments or whatever. And I was like that that was the biggest one to me. And I sat there, and I was like, at the end of the day, when I come home, I’m with myself and my dog , the two of us. Other than the two of us, you know, it’s me, and so I have to live with myself. And if I get to the end of my life, or whatever that is, and I sit here and I’m like, why didn’t I do this? I’m going to kick myself forever.
Jessica Weaver 13:55
Yes, that’s a huge theme too, right? Living with no regrets. Living it to the fullest. And you’re right, like having , what are people going to think or say about me? And how many people can say that, right? It goes in our minds, what are people gonna judge me for? But again, it’s everybody told me I should make everybody be branded as me. I’m like well I can’t force him to wear pink. I can’t force him to like pink, most of them don’t even like pink. Because what I know, the metrics are better, you’re better valued, if everybody’s branded the same way. But like if I would didn’t want to be stuffed in a box, how can I stuff these women into a box? And then from there, them to stuff their clients into a box and have to work with their clients in a certain way. Where Yes, we share best practices we share, you know how we best help people and then every advisor gets to take it from there. I’m not going to force you to do that. Just like I’m not going to force you to work with your clients a certain way either. It’s that ripple effect that is , I feel like it’s starving people in the industry.
Caroline Tanis 15:01
It’s also what differentiates us as advisors, right? Like, I can go, you and I can go to an event together at the group we met in, and it’s like, I’m not sitting there being like, Oh I’m competing with Jesse or like, what am I gonna do? It’s no, we’re together like anyone asked about me, like, I have nothing but good things to say. And it’s like, it’s not a competition, it’s just easy and it’s more fluid. And I know, you know, somebody who I work with might not be the same as somebody else, you know, in the, in the boutique that they would work with. And so, if I meet somebody, I’ll be the first person to say, I may not be the right fit for you. But I now also still know though all these other women that would be the right fit for you. And it’s like, I’m not sitting here saying, oh, my gosh, I’m losing business or, you know, my competitor is getting this, you know, business instead of me. It’s like, no, we’re growing this together as well, even though we’re each our own individual.
Jessica Weaver 15:52
And there’s so much money out there. There’s so many people that need help. And that’s one thing I hate about our industry. It’s so fear based scarcity mentality. Yeah, we have our regulators, making the broker dealers terrified, making our advisors terrified, making the clients terrified right? You’re gonna run out of money if you don’t work with me, you’re gonna run out of money if you don’t do this product. I hate all of it. And you’re right if you show up at a networking event, and there’s always advisors, there’s a ton of them. And not being intimidated by them, but like, how could we help each other? How could we learn from one another, and that’s what we said right? I might not be everybody’s cup of tea; I probably am not. They can work with anybody. There’s plenty of people out there to help. So, I love that you said that. Very true. Talk to me about the financial literacy for women, as this is why we have the podcast, we’re huge advocates for getting the information, the resources out to women. Women here in the US, overseas, we have a huge following in international developing countries, because unfortunately, the women are even farther behind than us. Yeah, we need to change that.
Caroline Tanis 16:59
Yeah. And it’s even just like providing resources, right. And so, something and this started, honestly, two decades almost ago, no a little less than that. But when I was in high school, I did youth in government and so part of youth in government is you had to go to the courthouse in Trenton and you would present your bill. So, my proposed bill was that everyone in high school had to take a mandatory financial literacy course and not like the junky one that they offered you now. But it was like, actually, like, here’s how to write a check. Here’s what a stock versus a bond is, here’s what your student loan debt looks like.
Jessica Weaver 17:17
You were already thinking that way in high school. That’s amazing.
Caroline Tanis 17:43
Yeah. And that was early that would have been freshman or sophomore year. If I think about it, yeah. Yeah. And so I went, I presented it and it was so funny, the quote, unquote, you know, person playing the judge, his parents were there. And they came up after to me and they were like, I know your bill didn’t pass because of like, the funding, it would have required for the state aid funding. And they were like, but you need to keep pushing for this, because you have no idea what a difference this is gonna make. And that was like, you know, I was 15/ 16 years old at that point in my life and I’m like, Yeah, okay, great. And you know, fast forward, however many years, it’s like, here, I am now still pushing for the same thing. But what’s crazy to me is that I feel like for a while, we were really like financial literacy. Like let’s learn these things. And then we just kind of lost our way in it. And I think that there’s so many resources out there now that people get overwhelmed and there’s also a lot of incorrect resources.
Jessica Weaver 18:42
There’s just so much information and some of its regulated Some of it’s not regulated and it’s a changing environment with money. Money is so virtual now too that even the old curriculum, it wouldn’t apply today. We need to learn today how are things working – Venmo, PayPal, my kids don’t see money being exchanged. Yes. How are they going to grasp money’s a real thing, it’s not just Monopoly money that you just spend and spend and spend. Teaching these it’s more important to me than ever to get this to kids’ high school but even younger and ton really grasp what money is when they’re not seeing it day to day.
Caroline Tanis 19:21
Yeah, and they just think it pops out of nowhere I still remember getting a credit card from my dad in high school and I thought it was the coolest thing ever because I’m like this thing doesn’t end. It does end, right? Like there’s the bottom to it and your parents will find you
Jessica Weaver 19:36
You’ll be grounded and…
Caroline Tanis 19:41
It doesn’t end well to any of those any you know under 18 listening, it does not end well for you, don’t try it and it’s honestly you have to learn. I was in I did an article for go banking rates and we talked about like how to teach your kids about money. And there’s a lot of resources now out around like giving your kids like their first credit card or debit cards, so they learn how to use it rather than, you know, 18, you go to college, you get your first card, and you’re like, this thing is great. Next thing, you know, you graduate after four years with not only student loan debt, but now credit card debt.
Jessica Weaver 20:14
And that’s a dangerous file that credit card debt, they get you there and you’re stuck there. It’s a bear to get out of it. So yeah, being aware and informed about what are the consequences, and you said student loans, that the mortgage, you graduate college with a mortgage, and there’s no guarantee of a job to pay off the mortgage, it’s a lot of risk to take on for an 18-year-old, it’s hard for them to grasp that.
Caroline Tanis 20:38
Especially when you don’t fully understand behind it, like what you’re getting into. You’re just thinking like, oh, someone’s gonna give me money. Like, that’s pretty cool. And you get those, you know, all those sheets from colleges, you’re like, oh but this one’s gonna give me more money. And then this one’s gonna give me this type. And I’m like, why are we letting kids go to college? Take out all this debt, but you’re not teaching them in high school, what it means, or you know, what the possible consequences and even benefits of it are, you know, there’s there is an investment you’re putting in yourself, but it’s like, are we weighing the differences in that?
Jessica Weaver 21:15
Very true. I remember one Mediator divorce mediator said, why do we give a $200,000 investment to an 18-year-old, when they have no background in investments or pricing it out? What’s my payment gonna be when I graduate, what’s my income going to be? Do I want to move back home? Yeah. And the inflation in the meantime, growing especially now with this hyperinflation, all great points that you’re making with the student loans, the credit cards, the awareness, and bringing it to the youth. But so, we need to do that. And we see it all the time what is it 70% of the wealth is lost from generation to generation.
Caroline Tanis 21:56
Yeah, it’s something that high too, and it’s just like, I will never forget too seeing one of the clients I worked with, when I was at Merrill, she had to be like, 80 / 85 at the time. Like she comes into the office, she has like a stack of papers. And she’s like, my husband just died. I know we’ve never met before. But apparently, all my all of our money is here. And it at 80/85. She’s now having to learn what stocks and bonds are
Jessica Weaver 22:20
She’s probably very scared, she’s grieving, she’s overwhelmed. And now she has to figure all this stuff out on top of grieving instead of just being able to grieve and knowing she’s financially secure.
Caroline Tanis 22:30
Yeah, and she doesn’t understand, you know, you can say it to them 15 times over, your husband’s everything up, it’s fine, it’s fine. But it’s like they don’t know, if you don’t know, you don’t know, if you don’t know and have the education behind it. So that’s why every time I start working, if I start working with a couple and the man’s like, I’ll take care of it, I’ll take care of it. I’m like, I at least need to have a relationship with your wife or spouse or significant other, because if something happens to you, I want them to know, I need to call Caroline, and everything is taken care of. But when I get a chance, I need to call her. And it’s like, they could just at least have that peace of mind. And knowing who to call and that we have a relationship.
Jessica Weaver 23:06
And that you’ve been a part of the picture the entire time you understand you can now verbalize what the husband’s goals were with the money or why he did things, to the wife. And they need to they don’t need to be head of the finances, but they need to be engaged and aware. And as you said, it’s amazing that you’re bringing them into the conversation as much as you can, so that they don’t feel that it’s I see it as a ton of fear that oh my gosh, now it’s all on me. And I remember one widow saying, well, what if I fail? What if I run out of money now, I’m failing my husband who worked so hard to save to build this. So, we work so hard together to build this, I don’t want to fail him. Right? It’s a kind of a legacy at this point. It’s very hard. So, what are the steps when women start to work with you? What are the steps that you’re taking them through to become more aware and educated with the money?
Caroline Tanis 24:02
It’s interesting, too, because every quest every meeting, I start with anyone, honestly, I’m always like, I know, you’ve heard this in school growing up, but there is no stupid question. And they say to me, and they start every sentence like, I know, this might be stupid, but and I’m like you, I give them the example. You know, let’s say I’m sitting with somebody from marketing. I’m like, I don’t know anything about marketing. So, if I were to come to you, I would also ask all these detailed questions, but you do it day in and day out. This is what I do day in and day out. I’m here for you to ask me everything. And then the other thing I tell them too and constantly remind them of is like, I’d rather you ask me 15 times than you just try and go out and do it yourself and do it wrong. And I’ve had people do it and they’re like, or they’re ashamed of something they did in the past and they’re like, hey, like, you know, I got talked into doing XY and Z by another advisor or another insurance agent, you know, I don’t I don’t know what to do. And it’s like they’ll show it to me after so long and I’m like where was this the whole time? And it’s like, they’re embarrassed. Yeah, like it’s okay, I feel like there’s, yeah, I’m like, I want to just hand everyone like tea and be like, you’re here, you’re safe. Like, just ask me anything, like, sit down and just share it all. So that’s, that’s where we start in the process too. And I think it’s so much of relationship and trust building because I will say one of the best things about my clients is they are, even if I didn’t know them before, they are all people that have become friends. Which is really different.
Jessica Weaver 24:13
And that’s the goal – a lifelong relationship partnership with it, and right that’s why we don’t charge for calls like, please let us know if you’re about to do something with your money. Yeah, cuz that little thing could completely change all the work that we’ve done all the work that you’ve done to save, and sometimes it’s hard to get out of those things.
Caroline Tanis 25:31
Mm hmm. Absolutely. And I’m like, you’re not bothering me. This is what we’re here for.
Jessica Weaver 25:34
Yes, please, please, is we’re not like attorneys where we’re going to charge you for the phone call, please ask us. And there’s this saying, what is it a small mistake with a little bit amount of money is a little bit amount of money, but a small mistake with a lot of money is a lot of money. Let’s prevent those. Because then you’re starting backwards. Or we’re starting all over again. Just come to us, just ask, go to Caroline ask her. Ask her.
Caroline Tanis 26:21
I’m like I will walk you through all of it. I want like, I love when people come to me, they’re like, I have 15 questions written down. I’m like let’s just go down the list and we’ll hit them all and then they leave and they’re like, well you weren’t kidding, I really can ask anything. Yes, I like that. I mean it endlessly. And it’s not like I leave the room. And I all of a sudden, I’m like, you won’t believe what this person said? No, you’re not, you know, this is why I’m here. And this is why I love doing what I do. And it makes me feel a little smarter
Jessica Weaver 26:54
Because as people come into our spaces, it’s a very vulnerable time for them. They’re kind of airing their dirty laundry, I say money’s more intimate than your sex life. Because you’re more likely to talk about sex with your girlfriends and your credit card debt. Yep. Can you share with us ,we’ll put you on the other side of the table, of a vulnerable moment for you with money? And how you got through it?
Caroline Tanis 27:17
You know, I think it was preparing to leave Merrill. So, I, you know, built myself a huge buffer and you know, the inner financial planner means like, okay, how do I prepare to make this change and make this jump, and it’s like,
Jessica Weaver 27:27
It kind of goes against everything we’re taught, always be financially secure, stay with a steady income, and now you’re taking a risk and leaving so I can see where that will be like, Okay,
Caroline Tanis 27:39
I remember still the day I was like, alright, Caroline like, you have to look at everything, like open up all the accounts, like let’s just see where we are, see what things you know would track and I’m like, okay, I can do this. And so, it’s being honest with yourself too, and having to look at the money and I can hear all the different things I’ve told clients in my head. And I’m saying it to myself, you have to practice what you preach. You have to practice what you preach, you know, you need to know your timeline, your income, your expenses, all these things, you need to put it together. And so, but it’s a vulnerable thing. You know, it’s easy when it’s somebody else, you know, you open up everything and you’re like, okay, bing bang boom, this is what we’re gonna do. When you look at it yourself, you’re like this is what it’s like to be on the other side.
Jessica Weaver 28:20
Yeah, right now you’re in their shoes. And sometimes it’s like, can somebody just please tell me what to do? So, I don’t have to make the scary decision myself. Thank you for sharing that. We’ve all we’re humans too, we’ve all had our emotional sides of money and our, our money blocks, and I think for us, growing and working through it only makes us better advisors.
Caroline Tanis 28:48
Yeah. And I think it makes us real. Yeah. And just seeing, you know, I’ll have people in there like, do you ever I had somebody asked me once they were like, do you ever just go into a store and buy something? And I was like, yes. I love that, you know, I’m a human being who probably. It’s like the concept of healthy eating, right? Like you eat healthy a majority of the time and you know, then you treat yourself , it’s the same thing with money if you can’t enjoy it, you know, I love to travel. So, I was telling someone the other day I’m like, I took a hot air balloon over Kenya like you think that was a cheap event? But I’m also like, I worked so hard for this and made the jump this year. Like this is my like gift to myself of like go out and enjoy it.
Jessica Weaver 29:27
Amen. Otherwise, we just get resentful for the money and resentful for our future because we’re just saving it all for them. We can enjoy it now. A healthy dose of enjoying your money today. Right was that a Mary Poppins song, right? A spoonful of medicine. Yeah, helps the medicine go down. But we need to be able to enjoy our money today. So, and you do that a wonderful job on your social media. Giving women permission to enjoy your money. We’re not saying spend it all at once but enjoy it, enjoy it, it’s kind of the plan.
Caroline Tanis 30:02
It is. And that’s I think the biggest thing too is I tell people also I’m like, you need to build in, like the fun. Because if you’re not having fun and enjoying it, what is the purpose of all of this, you know, even if it’s just like, you know, you and I love to go to Spring Lake. So, if you’re going down the beach for the day, like, there are ways to treat yourself that don’t include, like, I think people have like these extreme ideas of them. And they’re like, I have to go shopping on Fifth Ave and blow on my money. I’m like, maybe enjoying yourself is getting like a really good cup of coffee and taking a walk with a friend. Like why? I don’t know why society we’ve made it this thing where it’s like, you have to buy a Gucci bag or like, do these like crazy things. And like, yeah, those moments happen. But it’s balance. And it’s like, we need to treat ourselves in every day versus you know, just squirreling it all away. And then you just explode, and you end up on Fifth Ave doing all the shopping.
Jessica Weaver 30:52
I agree. I’ve learned that to even us. There’s a soap store in our town, and I walked in there one day and I’m like this smells amazing! So, I bought a few bars of soap there, a few dollars each, like wow this is a lot cheaper than I even thought it was going to be. And now whenever I take a shower, I feel like I’m at this high-end spa. Its Luxurious. It’s so nice. And it’s $6, $6
Caroline Tanis 30:52
And exactly like people just think that like they discount so much of it. Like I always work with a candle on I get the $4 Candle tins from Trader Joe’s. And then they burn and I’m like when I’m working like I’m just working in this like luxurious atmosphere. I could never do these when I was working in a corporate office. And I’m like, it just changes everything. So, my environment and my mood when I’m working. I’m like, this is great. I’m typing out you know emails for six hours, but it’s perfect.
Jessica Weaver 31:43
Yeah, I think let’s put on a healing like almost a healing candle for our sessions together. Like let me light my candle
Caroline Tanis 31:52
That’s so funny.
Jessica Weaver 31:53
I love I was going to ask you what your indulgences is. It’s a candle. There are these small ways that we can feel rich and wealthy and luxurious and then not be 1000s of dollars spending money all the time and things so thank you so much, Caroline, where can people find you?
Caroline Tanis 32:10
Yes, you can find me on Instagram at Tanis fin group, FIN, not financial. And then our website is Tanisfingroup.com So make sure to check us out.
Jessica Weaver 32:20
Awesome. She is amazing on social media. Go and follow her check in with her. Thank you, Caroline. Thank you all for listening to today’s episode. Thank you for being huge supporters of us and what we’re doing and getting this information