Happy Valentine’s Day!
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being head over heels in love, 1 being sadly disappointed) how much do you love your money right now?
If you aren’t at a 10 yet, what has to happen to get you there?
More income? More in savings? Less in debt? Better understanding of your money and how it works? More knowledge of money?
Where is the disconnect between you and your money? There is always a disconnect! It could be as simple as you are spending more than you make. Or it could be more complicated such as a disagreement between you and your spouse around your money. Once we can find the disconnect and isolate it, we can make changes!
Come with me as we reminisce on our childhood! Growing up, did your parents ever fight about money? Was there tension in the house when money was brought up? If this happened to you, you might associate money with anger, resentment, bitterness, and negativity. Now as an adult in your own relationship, you may steer clear of the topic of money. WHY? Because you don’t want to get your spouse upset, you don’t want to fight about it, and you definitely don’t want your kids to witness it. Is this healthy? No, but it’s what you do everyday, and it slowly eats away at you every time you keep your mouth shut. And it slowly builds resentment between you and your spouse, which was exactly what you were trying to avoid!
Maybe your parents didn’t fight about money, but they overspent a lot. OR they never spent any money besides on the necessities.
My mom and I love shopping, it was always our way to bond and release some stress. Are you nodding your head because you do the same thing? Anyway, when we would get home my mom would tell me to keep the shopping bags in the trunk. Why would she do this? Because my father would yell at us for spending too much money of course! This sent a very confusing message to me, on one side spending money was fun and therapeutic. Yet on the other side, spending money was bad and led to fights, anger, and disappointment. To this day, I am bi-polar when it comes to spending money! I’ve spent a lot of time, training, and educating myself on how to accept who I am with my money. But more importantly, to give myself boundaries around spending my money. I’m far from perfect, but I now can achieve my goals thanks to these boundaries and strategies. I’ve had so much success in my own life, but also in other women’s lives that I feel the need to share them with YOU!
How do we learn to love ourselves and our money again? It begins with understanding why we behave a certain way. It begins with accepting why you are a certain way with money, to stop feeling guilty and bad about yourself whenever you spend.
How have your parent’s behavior with money shaped how you are with money? How has your spouse, peers, friends shaped how you are with money?
Next is to find strategies to compliment your money personality. This is where I come in! I have a NEW session called Your Money Action Plan to give you the strategies and boundaries to start implementing with your money. You will go from frustration, disappointment, and let’s be honest…annoyance with your money, to a place of calm and peace. You will begin to be proactive with your money decisions instead of reactive, so you can FINALLY work towards your Money Goals, Life Goals instead of reacting to more and more bad decisions.
I’ve learned this year that it isn’t about making more money, saving more money, BUT about making sure you don’t let yourself down or the people around you down. You don’t want to fail, I don’t want you to fail. The problem isn’t YOU, it is not having the RIGHT strategies to achieve your goals.
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