When we are living in a money fear, we become very selfish and self-centered.
Wait a second, did I really just say that? I don’t want to be selfish because I’m worried about my money! Let me explain!
Because we are distracted with the fear. We can’t be fully present in our lives since our fears keep taking our mind elsewhere. We get stuck thinking how to hell am I going to figure this out. We’ve become very disconnected in the world which is the opposite of what we want. We need to feel connected, like we are bringing value to the world, and living our purpose. But money fears give you the opposite.
I had this aha moment one evening while meeting with a couple from my Strong Retirement Club. I wanted to get a better understanding of their money issues, beliefs, and experiences. I asked them why money is important in their lives, and they began by saying it allows them to give back. They love supporting their kids, their church, and the communities they are involved in. It’s the connection to the people they love that is their motivation for getting a control over their money. As humans, we are designed to be connected with one another, it brings value into our lives, and gives us purpose.
While they have a huge drive for sharing their money, there was a time when they couldn’t live out their dream. It was the scariest moment in their lives, and it shook their world. They were living in their worst nightmare for months and felt like they had no way out. Their money fear was actually happening to them, they were living in their fear. In need of some one on one time with me?
Has that ever happen to you? Have you had a time when you couldn’t do something so ingrained in your life, in your heart because of the money? And your fear paralyzed you from moving forward with any decision in your life. Maybe you wanted to send your kids to college without them having to take out a ton of student loans. Or you wanted a divorce so you could find love again, real love, but the money just wasn’t there. You feel as if there is no way it can happen so it sits there occupying your mind, distracting you from your life.
As we went deeper into our meeting, I realized that when you are living in fear, you become disconnected from the world around you. Your mind is so preoccupied with thinking: “how the hell am I going to figure this out?” You aren’t able to be there for the people we care about, for the people you are trying to help. Everything in your life becomes about that looming fear! It occupies every aspect of your mind, and that fear will pop up at the least opportune time!
Your life starts revolving around your fear, to the point where you feel trapped and unable to breath. This is how the survival level in life begins and how you can so easily get stuck there. As the couple discussed, you feel like you don’t have time to figure it out or you think you just don’t have the money to figure it out and never will. As the husband said, time moves so quickly when you are on the survival hamster wheel. You wake up one day and it’s been weeks, months, or years.
Your first step out of survival, is to reach out for help. During times of crisis, we tend to want to isolate ourselves. You want to hide and not let anyone know how bad it is. This is the exact time to reach out! It usually takes someone outside of your brain to help you realize all the choices you do have with your money. To help you find the solutions to your money fears and issues, and most importantly, how to implement them.
As we were finishing our session together, we were talking about their goals. They both said they wanted to have a retirement plan in place. Not just a plan for their retirement, but also from now until they retire in 5 years. I asked them what that meant, what does is mean to have a plan. I can create a very pretty plan for you, place it in a gorgeous, pink binder, but what will that do for you? That’s when the last aha moment came from the night! They don’t just want a pretty in pink plan, but they want to be enforcing that plan, implementing it. They want to put it into action!
That’s the difference between what I do and what most advisors do. Every advisor can give you a retirement plan (might not be in pink!), but I want you living in that plan. Every day living in your plan so you are actively moving forward with your retirement goals…both now and in retirement!
Would you like that? Let’s explore it together with my NEW Best Selling Book!