So I took a stance recently, and maybe you can relate to this… I decided I would no longer be a people pleaser. I’ve been one my entire life, and it has caused me to be too silent when I should have spoken up. It has led to disappointments with myself and for others. It enables the people who like to take advantage of others, even if they don’t know they are doing it. It can also lead someone to financial ruin, burnout, and the big one for me: constantly sacrificing myself for other people’s egos. Yes, you read that right, other people’s egos.
I will always be here to help someone, to serve God, and even if I am exhausted lend a helping hand. It is when people’s egos bring up their insecurities, their fears, and their lack of trust that people pleasing can cause harm. It enables them to stay in their zone of fear, making decisions from a place of scarcity and fear.
Do you feel like you are constantly sacrificing yourself for the sake of others? Do you play the role of peacekeeper, mediator, or the person everyone vents to? These are all energy depleting behaviors, they lower the frequency, which causes you to also attract lower frequency people.
I never thought of myself as an empath, until I saw repeated posts and articles about empath’s. An empath can take on the energy of another person very easily, which will cause them to immediately want to fix the problem or heal the person or both. Some empaths can take on the feelings of animals, others can be what is known as clairvoyant. I remember as a little girl feeling so bad for even my toys, this was a clue! Toy Story was a very upsetting movie for me to watch, still is! When you take on so many other people’s emotions and energy, you rarely can understand what it is you are feeling versus what is from other people. You don’t have a lot of boundaries between your needs and the needs of others. You don’t have separation from one task to the next or one person to the next. It all blends in together, so one problem for one person seems like a carry over problem for the next person. This might not make sense to everyone, but for the people pleasing empaths reading this, it will! I want you to know that you are not alone!
Here are a few ideas on how to better balance out who you are, your emotions, and needs versus the outside world. Sit and reflect on these powerful phrases from @empathiccoach on instagram:
- I am done compromising myself for other people’s needs.
- I will show up for myself without guilt.
- I am no longer doing anything out of my comfort zone for other people. I am getting out of my comfort zone for me, I will set healthy boundaries because this gives me confidence and self worth.
- I am no longer doing things I don’t want to do because someone will feel bad if I don’t. I will do things for other people because I want to without need for outside validation.
When you put up healthy boundaries, take notice of the people who leave your world. They will leave organically, yet some will leave aggressively. Do not be surprised by this! A healthy boundary helps all parties, who want to be in the relationship with you and when they appreciate you.
A few new mantras for your Daily Money Practice is this:
I surround myself with people who appreciate me and celebrate me!
I attract the perfect people at the right time!
I deserve happiness and success!
I have supportive, nurturing relationships!
I know how to set healthy boundaries in every area of my life!